ein Dankesbrief

There were around sixty of them , the class was almost full with boys except the first row . I trudged towards the last bench glancing sideways if I could find an empty seat but there were none . It felt like I was in an alienated world but with me being the one amongst them . Our tutor entered and asked us to introduce ourselves .I was looking at my feet and when I heard Jamshedpur I moved my glance towards the source of sound just in time to see you sitting and when my turn came I caught you smiling at your friend. First few days went without much difference, in the same last bench which had the capacity of 6 people but me sitting alone hiding from the bombardments of what is band gap?  Formula of probability of number of holes? So on and so forth. I had never thought that you would even talk to me that too properly with the look you carried and from the school you came. Little did you know about the impact of your words when you asked me to team up with you . Was the first time when I didn’t have to beg someone to finish my class projects. I was just staring at you , dumbfounded and you didn’t even ask you had already decided.  Thank  you Aayush for being the stanchion in my journey.

But my problems didn’t end here. There’s this hell of a guy who has been source of my hurdles from the first semester.  Do you want me to tell everyone what you did in my English class , Siddharth? You uncle ji types kid , I used to look at you and wander how you might be feeling with no one of your branch in the class. Well I didn’t have to mull over it for too long, you know why! It was a peaceful afternoon with soft breeze and branches doing waltz, not at all like the ambiance suggesting the entry of a villain and then you entered Mr.Menon with a grey cells nourishing news that we would soon be called in our tutor’s cabin. Anyways that doesn’t count as you sat beside me , then and forever, enjoyed my company (again a new thing for me), gave a worrisome look when I felt sick and you always know when things are not right with me. It’s not about  those two questions that you solved it’s about the warmth and confidence that I got when I sat beside you . I used to be a timid, shy, diffident and cringey girl but when I was wrapped by you both I was no longer the same. Initially such petty thoughts leaked in as you might be avoiding me but it were those times when you text me first that proves you care. Thank you for the moral support because of which I’m here. Even now with my messed up timetable you pursue to take classes with me. Believe me no one has ever wanted to do that.

Though things were commencing to be okay but all these above realizations dawned on me much later. Till now my life was messed up enough to doubt the best person yet to come. Now if I wax lyrical about him it would be an injustice for there’s no adjective that portrays him felicitously. From the moment I judged you to be a South Indian senior (and I won’t forget you thought I was a Bengali) till the time when you are feeling tiered but still talking to me (maybe you are afraid I’ll get angry)” darr lagta hai na merese?” you have been with me . I’ve seen you shiver and tremble beside me in the library. You remember I went to the fiction section pretending to give you time to solve the question , I actually wanted to give you space . I saw your shivering lips, your nervous smile , fear in eyes , uncoordination in hands , it was incredible how you managed yourself then. No amount of thanks in any language can ever sum up the things you have done for me. From my assignments to my practicals, from my interviews to my speech, through my nightmares and dreams , my sorrows and joys (the list won’t end) I had the privilege to have you by my side. Thank you for not losing hope when I did. Thank you for being there with me setting your fears aside. Thank you for sharing with me things which nobody else knows . Thank you for being what I thought could never be mine. Thank you for remaining a true friend Shikhar.

It has been more than a couple of months now and in less than 24 hours we’ll be together again.

PS : I just saw your smile when you met Rocky , it was …… sorry no such adjective coined yet. Just keep that smile. And yes just a few hours…..

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